1. How I Found Peace
In this chapter, I described how I became a strong Christian when I was nearly 30 years old. I became a Christian after I came “to the end of myself” and desperately prayed that God would show me what the truth was. After I prayed this pray, my life dramatically began to change.
After I became a strong Christian in 2009, I experienced many extreme trials and tribulations. The trials and tribulations were so extreme that I became a completely different personal afterwards. The most extreme trials and tribulations were being treated for brain cancer and nearly becoming homeless several times. I believe that God used these trials and tribulations to mold and transform me.
Early Life
I grew up in a strong Christian home, and my parents were missionaries in Africa. I attended a Christian elementary school, middle school, and high school. I also went to church every week, and I went to Bible studies also.
When I was in middle school, I went on a backpacking trip in Colorado. We were on a mountain above the tree line. The weather dramatically changed, and it started raining and thundering. The guides said that we needed to get off the mountain immediately or we could die. I was terrified. I immediately had doubts about whether I was a real Christian. I cried out to God, and I accepted Jesus into my heart.
I was baptized shortly after that trip. I continued to grow in my faith in high school. When I was a junior in high school, I read through the entire Bible. I also read many great Christian books in high school. I also went on a short-term missionary trip to Guatemala during my junior year. I greatly enjoyed the missionary trip, and I wanted to become a missionary after college. When I was in high school, I was very active in the church, and I wanted to continue to grow in my faith during college.
Following a Dark Philosophy
I started college at a Christian university in 2002, but I had to transfer to a public university in 2005. At the public university, many of the professors and students were atheists or agnostics, and they believed that the scientific method should be used to determine whether God exists. The scientific method teaches that people should only believe evidence that is observable and repeatable.
When the scientific method is used to analyze religions, this creates serious issues because there is no observable and repeatable evidence which proves God exists. Additionally, the Bible and other historical books describe events that happened in the past, but history is not repeatable. So, atheists and agnostics believe that no one can scientifically prove that God exists.
When I was in high school, I was introduced to the concepts of atheism and agnosticism. However, the professors and students at the public university had studied atheism and agnosticism in great detail, and debating them was very challenging. I had great difficulty scientifically proving that God exists. I personally wanted God to exist, but I would not believe in God without finding strong scientific evidence which proved that God was real. I read hundreds of books, but finding strong scientific evidence was extremely challenging.
I began to wonder if it was impossible to scientifically determine whether God was real. During this period of doubt, I was terrified of death because I did not know what would happen afterwards. I wondered if the afterlife existed, and I worried about whether I would go to heaven or hell. I was so terrified of death that I avoided driving on the highways because car accidents were very frequent.
Searching For God
I spent six years trying to find evidence that God was real. During these years, I read hundreds of books, articles, and scholarly papers because I was desperate to find the truth. Without knowing whether God existed, I felt like I was in a deep chasm with no method to escape, and I was terrified of death.
I searched for hard scientific problems which can only be explained if God exists. For example, I extensively studied the Big Bang Theory, the Multiverse Theory, and other theories which describe the origin of our universe without God. I also extensively studied consciousness because consciousness is observable and repeatable.
Consciousness is considered a hard problem because scientists do not understand how physical processes in an organism’s brain create subjective experiences. Further, scientists also do not understand why consciousness even exists because consciousness is not necessary for life to exist. For example, scientists have proven that most plants and trees are not consciousness. So, the presence of consciousness in our universe is an enigma because consciousness is not required for an organism to survive and reproduce.
I personally studied consciousness because I wanted to find Christian scientists that had proven that God created consciousness. In 2009, I read “Consciousness: The Hard Problem” because it was written by 31 professors, and I thought they could provide an explanation. After I finished the book, I felt that the authors had not provided scientific answers.
I began to realize that the smartest scientists in the world did not know if God existed. I was overcome by feelings of extreme fear and worry because finding scientific evidence that God existed seemed like a philosophical or metaphysical problem with no solution. I felt like I was trapped in a chasm with no method to escape. I was absolute terrified.
Coming to “The End of Yourself”
Suddenly, I had a thought in my mind: “Pray to God.” I thought for a moment, and I realized that I did not have anything to lose. If God did not exist, nothing would happen. But, if God was real, perhaps He would help me. So, I prayed a very simple prayer: “God, I do not know if You are real or not. I do not know what the meaning of life is. Please, just tell me what to believe, and I will believe it.” Immediately after I prayed this prayer I was overwhelmed by a very strong feeling of tranquility and peace.
I was finally able to find God because I came “to the end of myself.” When I prayed that simple prayer to God, I prayed because I was completely desperate. I had realized that I was completely unable to determine whether God existed, and desperately prayed that God would help me. I surrendered self-support, and I began to depend on God’s strength. Fundamentally, coming to “the end of yourself” requires permitting Jesus to live through us and not relying on our ego, aspirations, or vigor (Galatians 2:20, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Matthew 11:28-30).
A few days later, I read “Believing Is Seeing.” That book provides very strong evidence that God is real and Jesus died for our sins. So, I prayed the Sinners Pray again, and I rededicated my life to Jesus. This happened in the spring of 2010, at the end of my master’s program.
How I Completed Changed as a Christian
After I rededicated my life to Jesus in 2010, my life quickly began to change. When I was an agnostic, I felt that life was meaningless, and I was terrified of death. As a Christian, I was overwhelmed by peace and tranquility. I felt that my life had purpose, and I wanted to follow God’s will for my life. I also began to have a more personally relationship with God. Throughout the week, I had quiet times with God every day.
I had rededicated my life to Jesus in 2010 at the end of my master’s program. I had discussed my career plans with my advisor, and he strongly encouraged me to purse a PhD at Texas A&M University. I also felt that Jesus wanted me to attend Texas A&M University for a PhD in Electrical Engineering. So, I began the PhD program in 2010 at Texas A&M University.
I met the requirements to graduate from the PhD program in 2014. However, I wanted to obtain more experience. So, I discussed the issue with my advisor, and he said I could stay at the university for three more years, but I needed to study a different topic because we had proved the first topic correct. When I applied to graduate from the PhD program in 2017, my professors said that I had completed 2 PhDs in Electrical Engineering.
Now, I completely changed when I rededicated my life to Jesus in 2010. From 2004-2010, I lived as an agnostic in the secular community, and those sex years were incredibly stressful. I understood that life without God is empty, pointless, and horrible. So, I wanted to help people find Jesus and become Christians.
When I graduated with my PhD in 2017, I had job offers from several companies. I prayed to Jesus for several years, and I asked Jesus to reveal His will for my life. I strongly felt that Jesus wanted me to share my faith, and I chose to become a missionary. After I graduated, I began to work in the healthcare field. I chose healthcare because my parents worked as nurses when they were missionaries in third-world countries. Working in healthcare allows me to provide for the patients physical needs, and I can tell my patients about my relationship with Jesus.
How Medical Problems Dramatically Changed Me
In the fall of 2021, I had a severe seizure, and I was taken to the emergency room. The doctors determined that I had brain cancer. The tumor had been growing during my entire life, and the tumor was now as large as a fist.
Surgeons attempted to remove the tumor, but they were unable. Over the following year, doctors tried several alternative treatments, but the brain tumor stilled remained. Finally, the doctors said that my only remaining option was radiation and chemotherapy. The doctors wanted to use other treatments first because radiation and chemotherapy cause many serious side effects.
Doctors used radiation and chemotherapy for an entire year to kill the tumor. Radiation and chemotherapy caused several side effects, and the most severe was extreme fatigue. The fatigue was so serious that I had to sleep for 12 hours each day, and I could only work a few days each week. During this year, I was laid off from several jobs because I had very limited energy. The process of being treated for brain cancer was also extremely stressful because I nearly became homeless several times during this year.
Being treated for brain cancer also caused me to seriously question my faith. The doctors had to use radiation and chemotherapy daily, and the treatment causes horrible side effects. I felt that I was being tortured, and I wondered why Jesus would allow me to being tortured like this. I desperately prayed to God every day, and I begged God to completely heal me.
In January 2023 while I was still being treated using radiation and chemotherapy, I experienced incredible dreams. For three consecutive nights, I experienced the same dream of Jesus being crucified. These dreams were exceedingly intense because I stood right beside Jesus, and personally observed Jesus being crucified. These dreams were so shocking that I rededicated my life to Jesus in January 2023.
The Origin of This Book
Describing these extremely dramatic dreams is challenging because I have never experienced dreams like those. The dreams were incredibly realistic and lifelike, and dreams almost seemed like real life. After having this experience, my doubts about Christianity disappeared. Now, I am 100% convinced that Christianity is completely true.
Immediately after the three dreams happened, I prayed to God and asked God to guide me daily. I felt that God wanted me to carefully study the Bible and become a stronger Christian. Additionally, I felt that God wanted me to spend my leisure time reading the Bible and Christian books. I prayed to God and asked God what tasks I should perform during my leisure time. Immediately, I had a thought in my mind: “Write a book.”
I had never written a book before, and I wondered what subjects God desired for me to discuss. Every day, I prayed to God and asked God to guide me and reveal His will for me. I felt that God desired me to present evidence which proves Christianity is true. So, this book is a compilation of strong scientific evidence which shows Christianity is correct.
Additionally, from the very beginning, I strongly felt that God desired this book to be free and available to everyone. So, we have translated this book into several languages. This book is available for free on our website, and the book is available for free using iPhone Kindle and Google Play Books.
Starting “Peace of Mind Ministry”
When the doctors began to use radiation and chemotherapy to kill the tumor in the fall of 2022, I immediately began to have severe side effects. The extreme fatigue caused me to have tremendous difficulty maintaining a job. I nearly became homeless several times while I was being treated for brain cancer. I began to realize that our society has many inaccurate stereotypes regarding homeless people.
After I had the incredible dreams and rededicated my life to Jesus in January 2023, I realized that the biggest issue that affects everyone is that most people do not have a personal relationship with Jesus. In order to help people find purpose and meaning, they need to become a strong Christian. Only Jesus can bring purpose and meaning to our lives. I realized that we could dramatically help the homeless by sharing our faith with them and helping them become strong Christians.
My parents and I prayed for several years about how we could help the homeless become strong Christians. Only a few Christian charities help the homeless where we live, and we felt God was calling us to share our faith with the homeless. After several years, we started the “Peace of Mind Ministry” charity in the summer of 2024.
Conclusions
My life has been extremely challenging and difficult. However, Jesus guided me through the trials and tribulations. Jesus also used these trials and tribulations to mold and transform me into a stronger Christian. While following Jesus is certainly not easy or simple, Jesus promises that His followers will spend eternity in Heaven.